Fix-the-Relationship, or the Queen of Hearts

For K & D.

So, he won’t do what you want. He’s a slob. He’s broke and in debt to you. He’s never gotten you that ring.

Dump him! Give him ultimatums! My way or the highway!

“All ways are MY ways,” screams the Queens of Hearts.

Nope. She’s a frickin’ cartoon. You’re a person.

First, you need to find out what you want. Discovers what you need from him – and then, tell him. But start with the smallest thing, first!

You want him to organize the dishwasher & the pantry.

So teach him. Kindly and patiently, but not critically. He hasn’t noticed. Bad on him, but you haven’t told him how it’s important it is to you. Bad on you.

Teach him how to meet your needs. Ask D to clean up after himself.

This is the hard part, the trump card.

Stop cleaning up after him. Stop that fixing. Of him. Lay down your cards.

Instead, ask him if you could do something differently to improve his life.

Give him time to think about it & do what he suggests but you missed.

This is the trick. Rewards. Do something for him to get him to do something for you.

Don’t fix D.

Fix you & D. Be the queen of his heart.

And buy your own ring. You’ve got the $.

You’re already a Queen. So, hire a house keeper. Teach her just how you like the pantry.